Mossley 1
Curzon Ashton 1

Evostik Division One North

There are several reasons to visit Mossley. For one, they do seem to be the unluckiest club in England. Be it floodlights, flooding, or general off-field shenanigans, they are all chronicled in the increasingly doom-laden and frustrated Mossley 80. If you are in need of confirmation that someone, somewhere, is in a worse state than you, pop over.

But, with all due disrespect to the author of that fine blog, when a man of my stomach travels across the Pennines, he needs more than a ennui-filled blog to occupy him. So I am hear to testify, upon oath, that the Mossley snack bar is a fine, fine institution.

To avoid a descent in to cliché-ridden blogging, I shall say no more on the subject. Just take it on faith.

I've seen a lot of Curzon recently. They are effective, if undramatic. Mossley 80's reports indicate that the home team are playing pretty-enough football, but lacking any decent penetration. Brilliant. This promises much.

And so it turned out. On a bog of a pitch, for which Mossley deserve praise in making playable, both sides huffed and puffed. The visiting left back was having a mare, and Mossley got great joy down that flank. Curzon had a deputy in goal, and it showed. Edgy and nervous, neither he nor his defenders knew what he was doing. Curzon meanwhile continued to demonstrate all the lacklustre dynamism to which I have become accustomed of late.

One day, ma, I'll have my own spotlights

There is a blog out there call Six Tame Sides, which chronicles the travails of the, well, six football clubs that lie within spitting distance of each other on the eastern edge of Manchester. The author, Mossley Smithy, is a well-known face around the grounds, and takes a much better photo than me. So I would heartily commend his site for in-depth reportage of both this, and the earlier Woodley v Lairds game that battled bravely through the weather.

All content (c) Beat The First Man. If for any reason you would like to replicate anything you see on these pages, please get in touch.

Not John

Well worth the wait

Woodley Sports 2
Cammel Laird 0

Evostik Division One North

I suppose it was to be expected. Two lower mid-table Evostik North teams, ring rusty after all "the weather" (c), playing on an artificial pitch. It was never going to be a match to remind me why I do this. That said, it was pretty dire.

Welcome to Hell

Magic sponge

Woodley Sports' artificial pitch enabled the hosts to play this game, initially scheduled for an away day on the Wirral, and they must have been glad it did. Normally this game would be lucky to get 50 through the gate, but today there were three times that many, huddled together for warmth. Usually a hopper can be spotted by his plastic shopping bag, his numerous copies of the match day programme, and the sense that there is something not-quite-right about him.

Nice weather for ice cream

However, times move on, and these days you are more likely to spot the glint of light off his really-too-posh for the surroundings digital camera. And today, certainly, there was no chance of multiple programme purchases. I don't partake myself, but the language coming from some mouths about the standard, and availability, of the match day "magazine" was enough to make a docker blush. In a previous incarnation, the Lairds' programme was award-winning. Another example of how non-league clubs need to look after the people who turn the wheels, rather than ostracising them.

As you might have guessed, the game itself was a bit of a non-event. Sports scored a goal in each half, and rarely looked troubled. No doubt a search for this game will bring up several reports. Go, have a look. I won't be offended. But event he most skilled of bloggers will be unable to put much of a gloss on this game. The clubhouse was nice enough, but the snack bar, which has received rave reviews, was closed with flooding issues.So even that small blessing was snatched away from me by a meddling bureaucracy.